Aviation jokes (If U have one, put it here) Options

[Ford Freak]

There's nothing like a good laugh once in a while so I thought this would be a good idea.

Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. They’re getting a little impatient, but the airport staff has assured them that the pilots will be here soon, and the flight will take off immediately after they arrive. The entrance opens, and two men dressed in pilots’ uniforms walk up the aisle; both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the cabin; but the men enter the cockpit, the door closes, and the engines start up.

The passengers begin glancing nervously around, searching for some sign that this is just a little practical joke. None is forthcoming. The plane moves faster and faster down the runway, and people at the windows realize that they’re headed straight for the water at the edge of the airport territory. As it begins to look as though the plane will never take off, that it will plow into the water, panicked screams fill the cabin—but at that moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly, and soon they have all retreated into their magazines, secure in the knowledge that the plane is in good hands. Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot and says, “You know, Bob, one of these days, they’re going to scream too late, and we’re all going to die.”

[yaarpanjabi]

Real SR-71 Transmission (FL600=60,000ft)
Pilot: XX center, YY is requesting FL600.

ATC: Ok YY, it's clear. (Laughing) Climb and maintain FL600, if you can.

P: Roger, descending to FL600.

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Baby Planes
A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have >baby planes?" The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy asked the stewardess, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?" The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?" The boy admitted that this was the case. "Well, then," she replied, "tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Your mother can explain THAT to you."

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Leak Check
I was dumping the the lavatory waste on a 757. It tends to be a messy job and the waste, colored blue by the disinfectant tends to run down the belly of the aircraft.
While doing his walk around, the pilot scoops some up on his finger and does the "Taste Test".
He turns to me and asks,"Is the aircraft leaking hydraulic fluid?"
Choking back laughter and nausea, I replied "No". and without another word he continued on his inspection.

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Lady Radar Controller: "Can I turn you on at 7 miles?" Airline Captain: "Madam, you can try."

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NEWS FLASH!
North Carolina's worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two Duke students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.

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