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 Want To B Airline Pilot, Read Here |
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 Feb 20 2007, 04:46 PM
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Space Shuttle Member
Group: Full Access Members
Posts: 1,302
Joined: 24-April 05
From: 40N Lattitude 100W Longitude +/- 10 deg :)
Member No.: 1,387
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QUOTE The Infamous Airline Interview
I walked into the interview with a great deal of confidence and enthusiasm. Flying airplanes was my one true passion in this life. This was my big chance to merge my occupation with my love. I would become an airline pilot.
"So you want to be an airline pilot?" the interviewer inquired.
"Yes, sir, more than anything else I have ever wanted," I replied, realizing I sounded like an anxious adolescent.
"Well, great, welcome aboard," the airline executive said.
"You mean I'm hired?!" I cheered.
"You bet, we're glad to have you. Actually, we've had trouble finding good pilots to hire," the exec explained. If I was surprised, it was overshadowed by my joy of reaching my dream.
"Let's just go over a few points before you sign on the dotted line," the company man chortled. "We're going to send you to the world's most renowned medical center. They'll spend two days probing your body orifices, draining and analyzing your blood, and administering psychological exams. They'll literally take you apart and put you back together. If they find any hint of current or future problems, you're fired and can find your own ride home."
"Gee, I think my health is OK," I nervously choked out.
The manager went on, "Good, next we'll evaluate your flying skills in an aircraft you've never been in before. "If we don't like the way you perform, you're fired,"
I was confident with my flying, but this guy was making me nervous.
He continued, "Next, if you're still here, we'll run you through our training program. If during any time in the next 10 years you decide to leave the company, you'll have to reimburse us $20,000, or we'll sue you. Also if you fail to measure up during training, you're fired."
The man who had just given me my dream job listed still more hurdles. "Each time, before we allow you near one of our multimillion dollar aircraft we'll X-ray your flight bag and luggage, because we don't trust you. Also we'll ask you to pass through a magnetometer each time. If you fail to do so, you'll be arrested and jailed."
"When you've completed your flight, we'll have you provide a urine sample, because we don't trust you to not take drugs. Very soon, we plan to take a blood sample to look for more drugs. "Also if you ever fly with another crew member who may have used drugs or alcohol, you must report to us immediately. If you fail to notice that anyone has used these substances, you'll be fired, have your license to fly revoked, and be fined $10,000."
"Every six months, we want you to go back to the medical center for another exam. If they ever find a hint of a problem, your license to fly will be revoked and we'll fire you. Anytime you see a medical person, you must tell us about it so we can see if you need to be grounded and terminated. Also, we need to examine your driving record, and you must tell us if you have even any minor infractions so we can remove you from the cockpit as soon as possible."
"At any time, without notice, a special branch of the government will send one of its inspectors to ride in your aircraft. The inspector will demand to see your papers and license; if your papers are not in order, you'll be removed, fined, terminated, and possibly jailed."
"If at any time you make an error in judgment or an honest human mistake, you will be terminated, be fined tens of thousands of dollars, and be dragged through months of court proceedings. The government will make sure you never fly again for any airline."
"You will be well out of town most holidays, weekends, and family events - half our pilots are always on the job at any point in time.
Smiling an evil smile now, the airline hirer went on. "Oh, and one last thing to cover. Occasionally, we in management fail to see a trend and screw up royally or the country's economy falls flat on its face. If as a result of one of those events the corporation begins to lose money, you as an employee will be expected to make up the losses from your paycheck. Of course, management will not be held to the same standards.
Oh, and one last thing - if we negotiate pay and work rule concessions from you in the in exchange for a better pension plan, we probably won't fund that pension plan agreement (unlike the management pension plan and golden parachutes) and will likely have yanked it away from you."
"Now sign here," he pointed, grinning as he handed me a pen.
I faked a sudden nosebleed. Holding my head back and pinching my nostrils, I hurried from his office. When I got to the hall, I began to run. I ran all the way to my car. I figured if I hurried I could still get to the county vocational school before 5:00 and enroll in the industrial welding career program. !! HAHA, good reading, puts me at ease, gives me that warm fuzzy feeling, taste just like 100 LL
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Feb 22 2007, 02:53 PM
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Space Shuttle Member
Group: FL350 CREW
Posts: 3,048
Joined: 31-January 05
From: MZB345R@8DME
Member No.: 695
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An oldie but a goodie. Here's more:
When you see a Pilot, they're not getting paid.
When you see a pilot going through the same security you go through, he's not being paid.
When you see a pilot walking in the terminal, he's not being paid.
When you see a pilot at the gate pulling up paper work, planning the flight, and conferring with the agent, he's not being paid.
When you see a pilot walking around the aircraft doing a preflight inspection, he's not being paid.
When you board the aircraft and look in the cockpit and see the pilots setting up the aircraft, they're not getting paid.
When you land safely at your destination and walk off the aircraft and see the pilots shutting down the aircraft, they're not being paid.
When you see a pilot waiting for a ride to a hotel for the night, he's not being paid.
The only time the pilot of your aircraft is getting paid is when you DON"T see him...when he's locked behind the cockpit door as you push back from the gate. Every thing else he does until this point is for free, for no wages. Nothing!
The average airline pilot is at work for 12- 14 hours per day, yet gets paid for less than 6 - 7 hours.
The average airline pilot is away from home, at work, for 70+ hours a week, yet gets paid for only 15 to 18 hours per weeks work.
Most pilots schedules have them working 15 days or more a month...that means they are not at home half the month.
Holidays, weekends, birthdays, anniversaries, summer vacations... not at home.
A majority of pilots have 4-year college degrees, or more. Then they begin training as pilots.
A large majority of Pilots have spent 8 years or more flying in the military, risking their lives and protecting your freedom for wages most of you wouldn't accept in the civilian world.
Civilian trained pilots have spent $50,000 or more to acquire the training that qualifies them for a Regional Airline job, which pays a wage less than the poverty level in most western countries.
Most pilots do not attain the required experience level to be hired by a major airline until they are well passed the age of 30. The average age of a new hire airline pilot is 32.
Airline pilots are subject to random drug and alcohol testing, any time they are at work. Fail it and they lose their job.
Airline pilots are required to undergo rigorous re-training and certification every 6 to 9 months, at which time they could fail and lose their jobs, licenses and livelihood.
Airline pilots are required to submit to random government "Line checks" during which their license could be revoked and livelihood destroyed.
Airline pilots are exposed to radiation levels far exceeding the normal safe radiation limits mandated by the FDA.
Airline pilots are required to submit to a government medical examination every 6 months (Captains) and 12 months as First Officers. Year after year. Fail that, and their career is over.
How many of you go to work where people try to kill you?
How many of you have had your office turned into a cruise missile?
How many of you work behind a bullet proof door?
How many of you are responsible for the lives of 200- 300 people, with any small mistake in your performance resulting in the death of your customers (and yourselves), and the financial destruction of your company?
How many of your jobs require you to fight your way through thunderstorms, rain, snow, ice and turbulence, day and night, year after year?
No mistakes allowed?
The excuse " I had a bad day at work" never accepted?
Many pilots volunteer (on their own time and own dime) to be trained as Federal Flight Deck Officers, and carry weapons to defend their aircraft, crew and passengers. They maintain their proficiency and qualifications twice a year on their own time and money.
How many of you go to work where you are searched, patted down and your personal items scrutinized by TSA strangers, even though you can kill everyone in your place of work with your two bare hands?
Airline pilot pay scales and hours worked are usually posted by absurdly overcompensated Airline Exec's who are waging a PR campaign against their Pilot Unions and trying to justify their own greedy bonus's and draconian wage and pension cuts. Cheap **I have a dirty mouth** airline passengers just love this **** since they don't care if their airplane is flown by the lowest denominator, as long as they can flyfor next to nothing. Of course, if they don't get to their destination, their next of kin can sue...
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